Frustration

It’s the thing I hate most about having MS. Of course I have aches and pains, but I can handle those. Frustration is by far the hardest thing to deal with.

Even small things get me frustrated, like not being able to walk more than a couple of metres without holding onto something.

So the bigger things like having to watch my wife do more and more as I am able to do less and less are massively frustrating.

I should be doing things like cutting the grass, but I just haven’t got the balance or the strength in my legs to walk up and down pushing the mower. If I could afford to get a sit-on mower then I would be able to do it.

Having to just sit and watch Hales do it all is really really frustrating, and makes me feel useless! I try to do as much as I possibly can but I seem to be able to do less and less.

Things I used to really enjoy, like driving are getting harder and harder for me to do. Scuba diving was the thing I enjoyed most in life, but as I got worse I had to give that up too.

I do sometimes look back through all my photos from scuba diving, and quite often I will be sat here with a tear in my eye.

I know that there is nothing I can do about it, it is what it is. I don’t let it get me down for long, there are people out there with much worse than me.

I do keep my fingers crossed that something is invented that will cure MS, or at least stop it getting any worse. But I am prepared to just carry on slowly deteriorating and I will face whatever comes along as I always do.

I am a fighter and no matter how much is thrown at me I won’t just give in and let it win. I will always keep the smile on my face as much as I can, and if asked I will say I’m fine whether I am or not!

Enough waffle for today

Rob