When I got up this morning I wasn’t feeling too bad. I’d had a fairly good night’s sleep, only up once for the loo which is good for me! My legs were aching but not too much , again that was good for me.
As I was feeling ok I decided to do some work in the garden, still trying to get it looking good from moving in just over 3 months ago. Nice easy job, just dig up an old plant to tidy up and make room to add something better. So I thought anyway!
The plant turned out to be a lot tougher than I was expecting, very firmly rooted in place! Ended up taking me all morning to get it out and definitely doing more than I should have. After the 3rd time of falling over and struggling to get myself off the floor I should have called it a day knowing I had reached my limits!
But that’s not me, I tend to be a tad stubborn when it comes to reaching my limits. I will carry on pushing even though I know it’s going to mean more pain, and several more episodes of being flat on my back having to haul myself up off the floor.
How am I supposed to know exactly where my limits are if I don’t constantly push passed them?! My limits aren’t in a constant place, they vary with how I am feeling and what I am actually doing to push them.
It’s also down to my philosophy of wanting to constantly push my MS as far as I can, it’s my way of fighting it and not giving in. If I stop every time it gets painful or I know I’ve reached my limits, as far as I’m concerned that’s letting the MS win!
I’m not daft, I know eventually the MS will win, unless a miracle cure is found first. That’s not going to stop me though, I intend to keep fighting till my last breath. One of my favourite sayings is along the lines of ‘it’s better to burn out than fade away!
So that’s exactly how I intend to be. I would rather have less time but be happy than have more time but be miserable!
That’s all a long way off though, there’s plenty more fight left in me and I intend to drag the fight on for loads more years yet.
I’m happy, I feel positive about it and I have tremendous support from family and friends. Plus I have the best wife in the world who tirelessly looks after me without moaning even when things get tough.
Well I think that’s enough for today. Going to sit and have a cuppa and just relax now!
Rob
My Life and My MS 